The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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