Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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