I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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