ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
