Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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