Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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