I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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