hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
soo... how was my night?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
