I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
