Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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