He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As shirtless as possible
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
