as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he thought i was a dude.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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