We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
