they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
