If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
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