So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
