I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
