Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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