Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
