oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
