I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
