Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
