Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
