Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
