its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
