is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
