So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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