ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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