I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
