wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
where does the pee come out of this thing
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Randomize
