I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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