"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
