ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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