How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
