Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
