The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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