oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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