Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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