Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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