Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hotel room ftw
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
