Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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