before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
