How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
