I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
