how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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