I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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