I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
