Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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