Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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