so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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