I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
