Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
