Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
